Fandoms OFMD One-Shots

Best One-Shot OFMD Fanfics

OFMD one-shots under 10k words — complete reads in one sitting. Curated from AO3 and ranked by kudos.

TV Shows 25 one-shot fics Avg 4,171 words short stories under 10,000 words

Top 25 One-Shot OFMD Fanfics

Ranked by AO3 kudos. Mid-length OFMD fics — short stories under 10,000 words.

1

Close Quarters

by FortinbrasFTW

“The fuck?” Ed manages, instantly getting his foot stuck in a nearby bucket. “Sh-shh!” Stede pushes two fingers against his lips to shut him up. Ed goes still and a bit cross-eyed, staring down at the hand on his mouth. Stede moves it away, with a mouthed “sorry!” focusing intently on the soun

25,464 kudos 4,226 words 1/1 chapters Explicit Complete
2

Reeling from the fall

by cormoranth

“Right,” the stranger said quietly, calmly, a friendly lilting cadence to his words. “I think you should tell Doug not to try and be a hero tonight. Tell him that if he likes you with all your fingers attached and if he likes not knowing what those fingers taste like, then he should probably stay wh

12,748 kudos 2,198 words 1/1 chapters Teen And Up Audiences Complete
3

put me back together

by ShowMeAHero

Stede can’t help crying out in pain, in the next beat, finally giving in when an instinctive sound comes up. It’s loud, and the crew goes dead silent around him.Stede doesn’t even notice. He’s just trying to breathe, skin tugging painfully, when a door bangs open at the opposite end of the ship.“Wha

12,598 kudos 4,219 words 1/1 chapters Teen And Up Audiences Complete
4

when you love it

by mia_ugly

Stede’s being kissed before the door fully clicks shut behind him.

12,409 kudos 5,759 words 1/1 chapters Explicit Complete
5

Break down, it's alright

by rowenablade

“Give me a reason not to carve your heart out,” Ed whispers.And Stede can’t think of one.He can think of plenty of reasons he doesn’t want his heart carved out, but how could he expect any of them to matter to Ed?“Stede.” Ed’s voice breaks, dragging Stede’s eyes back up from where they’ve been stari

11,149 kudos 3,224 words 1/1 chapters Explicit Complete
6

A Night At Blackbeards's Bar and Grill

by soft_october

“Look - I don’t usually do this, but I am the food critic for The Anchor, and it’s imperative that I -”“Oh, a food critic! Well that changes things.”“Does it?”“Sure. What was that name again?”“Stede Bonnet. Food Critic, Stede Bonnet.”“Right. Well, fuck off, Food Critic Stede Bonnet. Blackbeard’s Bar

10,528 kudos 5,529 words 1/1 chapters Teen And Up Audiences Complete
7

Revenge

by feriowind

An offering to the Kraken goes awry.-- Multi-page comic set post S1.

10,486 kudos 0 words 5/5 chapters Teen And Up Audiences Complete
8

do no harm, take no shit

by holsmi

Mary Bonnet receives some uninvited guests.

9,816 kudos 2,181 words 1/1 chapters General Audiences Complete
9

separating salt from water

by morian

"Hey." Ed reaches across because it's the only thing that feels right. He grasps Stede's wrist and smoothes the pad of his thumb across his knuckles. Stede stops fiddling with his ring and looks up at him, wide-eyed. "This isn't Captain shit. This is God shit. Are you God?" The room is blank with si

9,587 kudos 6,082 words 1/1 chapters Mature Complete
10

echo your name (call it love)

by treescape

“I mean, you kind of did the same thing yesterday,” Lucius tells him afterwards, when they’re reviewing the day’s adventure for the logbook. Ed’s somewhere out on deck, which is a very good thing, since Stede is having a bit of a panic. “And the day before, and the day before—”“Did I really?” Stede

9,553 kudos 1,675 words 1/1 chapters Teen And Up Audiences Complete
11

i don't know anything (but i know i miss you)

by ShowMeAHero

“What the hell’s happened to you?” Stede demands. It’s his voice, in his body, and he almost seems living, and it’s— It has to be the last thing Ed ever sees. He has to die with him burned on the insides of his eyelids.Stede’s eyes are tracking over him, rising up to meet his eyes, locking with him.

8,168 kudos 7,093 words 1/1 chapters Teen And Up Audiences Complete
12

I'm Glad I Spent It With You

by soft_october

Two days later, an extremely overcrowded rowboat and its sunburned crew and captain arrive alongside The Revenge.

7,955 kudos 3,979 words 1/1 chapters Teen And Up Audiences Complete
13

and let your hair hang down

by Ark

Stede exhales, warm breath stirring Ed's hair. "Again?""Stede," says Ed, "I'd sit on your cock all day for a chair and captain the ship like that if the option was available."

7,762 kudos 3,112 words 1/1 chapters Explicit Complete
14

Late Night Vulgarities

by Luddleston

It figured that the moment Stede's libido decided to rear its head, he’d be sharing a room. When Stede finds himself fantasizing about Ed and desperate for relief, he's pleased to discover that Ed is fast asleep, which means Stede can basically go to town as long as he keeps himself reasonably quiet

7,410 kudos 8,933 words 3/3 chapters Explicit Complete
15

Still Waters

by Phoenix_Soar

Did people kiss like this? This often? Oh of course they must, not everyone shared his own stilted experiences with intimacy... Canon-divergent ending to Episode 9 — in which Stede discovers just how touch-starved he's been, while Ed takes full advantage of his first chance to be gentle with someone

7,005 kudos 5,477 words 1/1 chapters Explicit Complete
16

you should be so happy now

by waveridden

In a way, Mary supposes she’s lucky that it only takes one day for the pirates to attack her ship.(Blackbeard takes a hostage, Mary takes some risks, and Stede takes everyone by surprise.)

6,903 kudos 7,688 words 1/1 chapters Teen And Up Audiences Complete
17

Beyond Vanity

by reserve

After Izzy leaves, and Stede gets patched up, Ed uses the bathtub for something other than a nervous breakdown.

6,602 kudos 2,365 words 1/1 chapters Mature Complete
18

down to the sound of a heartbeat

by chaotic_neutral_knitter

"I should have been there with you," Stede said, voice rough. "If I hadn't left—" "Stede," Ed said, frustrated. He wiggled backwards out of Stede's arms and held his face in his hands, so that Stede couldn't look away. "It wasn't you leaving that did it. Stop thinking it was your fault." "Okay," Ste

77 kudos 5,610 words 1/1 chapters Mature Complete
19

Unconventional Methods

by PolitestMenace (GayPirateAficionado)

Hmm. Should Ed say what he’s thinking? He shouldn’t. He knows he shouldn’t. But he does anyway: “So. Uh. Know of one other thing.” Ed looks down, picking at the shark tooth on his jacket, trying to act cazh. He’s not sure it’s working. “Oh yes?” Stede sounds beyond delighted. His face brightens so m

29 kudos 3,407 words 1/2 chapters Explicit
20

OCMD Ficlet Collection

by Dracothelizard

For Our Con Means Death 2023 I wrote a bunch of ficlets, enjoy!

23 kudos 1,876 words 8/8 chapters Teen And Up Audiences Complete
21

Podfic of "A Little Restraint" by Fyre

by Kninjaknitter

Standing outside the centre, Stede stared at the handle of the door as if it might bite him.If he’d thought about it, he could have cancelled within the 24-hour cancellation window, but he hadn’t. He should have. He really should have. But it was too late now and he either had the choice of walking

20 kudos 735 words 105/? chapters Explicit
22

For a Good Time: Call

by LyndziM

After being kicked out of his home, former rich kid Stede Bonnet comes across a want-ad for a phone-sex hotline: Adventures Between the Lines. At $3.99 per minute, he could earn his rent, bills, and then some! He’s just starting to get good at it when a familiar raspy voice calls his extension. The

19 kudos 7,782 words 4/8 chapters Explicit
23

Thirty-Six Hours

by Shalamarr

Stede tried to raise a hand so that he could rub his sore forehead, but something was wrong. His hand refused to obey his command. He opened his eyes, carefully so that he could avoid being attacked further by the unforgiving sunlight, and … “What the hell?”. He was trussed up like a rotisserie ch

19 kudos 5,142 words 1/5 chapters Mature
24

No Strings Attached

by ourfag

Blackbeard had spent thirty years becoming a legend. Ed Teach had spent just as long trying to survive being one. He's nearing fifty now, and something's got to give. When he meets Stede Bonnet at a bar, what starts as an unexpected acquaintanceship becomes something more neither of them knows how t

16 kudos 5,774 words 2/8 chapters Mature
25

Podfic of "Man for Sale" by That_Squirrel_Is_Drunk

by Kninjaknitter

Stede Bonnet is a famous romance author, recovering from the breakup of his marriage and suffering from writer's block. Through an incredible twist of fate, he changes his life and meets the man of his dreams, village librarian Ed Teach.

14 kudos 202 words 28/28 chapters Mature Complete

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About This List

4,219
median words
80%
complete
25,464
top kudos
~17 minutes
median read time

This list of 25one-shot OFMD fanfics spans 104,268 total words. Kudos range from 14 on the newest entries to 25,464 on the most established. Nearly all (80%) are complete, so you can start any of them without WIP anxiety. The most common rating is Explicit (9 of 25 fics).

Recurring tags across this list: Angst · First Time · Post-Canon · Angst with a Happy Ending · Post-Season/Series 01.

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