Best Anathema/Newt Humor Fanfics

by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee

“How many people don’t believe I exist?” Crowley asks in the doorway.“I’m sure no – ” Aziraphale begins, only to be cut off by Gabriel and a reluctant Newton.“Everyone.” No one wants to say it, but the residents of Dorm A, floor 3, are collectively convinced Aziraphale Fell’s boyfriend does not exis

by irisbleufic

“D’you realize,” [Crowley] said, “that we never tire of things humans get bored with on the regular?” Aziraphale shrugged, lazily basking. “I’ve always assumed it’s that we don’t tire of each other.” [#75 was added on 14 February 2019; this story ran from 10/1/05 - 2/14/19. My love to GO fandom, al

by WyvernQuill

A Narrative of Certain Events following the Ending of the World (Except Not Quite), as vaguely hinted at in The Slapdash and Not Very Helpful Prophetic Tidbit of Agnes Nutter, Witch (And Matchmaker.) "Their lives are in horrible, terrible danger that only we can save them from!" Anathema held up the

by Atalan

AU, retelling of “Beauty and the Beast”. Quite honestly, sending Aziraphale off into the forest to be held hostage by a giant snake in a cursed castle isn’t even the worst thing Gabriel’s ever done to him, and at least it means a change of scene. But then neither the snake nor the castle turn out to

by ArcticVulpix

How do things change now that Heaven, Hell and our favourite ineffable duo have been introduced to Tony Stark?

by attheborder

“Well, it’s not permanent,” Anathema said, avoiding eye contact. “It’ll wear off in seven days, but in the meantime...”She looked up at the two of them, and sighed apologetically. “You guys are gonna want to get yourselves somewhere private. Fast.”

by Ghostinthehouse

When the little girl appeared beside Crowley, he wasn't fast enough to prevent her from latching onto his bad leg and trying to climb it.

by Ghostinthehouse

"Beware students present, angel," Crowley muttered, tilting his head just a fraction to show where.

by Aracloptia

“Well, that was a thing,” Crowley said once they were out of earshot. Without talking about it, they were both heading down the field, towards the lake where the photographer (and likely a few more people from the TV crew) was waiting.“That was a wedding,” Aziraphale replied, surprised at his own an

by seekwill

Far from any city, near the Scottish coast, Tadfield College has a celebrated history, an unrivaled academic reputation, and two departments at war. When the Biology and English departments are forced to share a building, Senior Lecturer and botanist Anthony Crowley finds himself drawn into the orbi

by sevdrag (seventhe)

A.Z. Fell, one of the most respected names in wine and food blogging, has been sent on assignment with his assistant Warlock Dowling to spend six months in California Wine Country. Under direction (by his boss, Gabriel) to use this experience to double his blog followers and write a novel, Aziraphal

by Blue_Sparkle

After being pressured by their families into a marriage neither of them want, Aziraphale and Crowley resign themselves to an unfulfilling life together. For Aziraphale that means trying to be the dutiful wife she was always taught to be and for Crowley it means hiding an important part of who he is.

by Ghostinthehouse

Newton and Aziraphale were just getting into another deep discussion on which book and illustration to be true to in his latest re-enactment when Crowley leaned over Aziraphale's shoulder and said, "I'm going to go find a cafe while I'm waiting. See you there."One-Shot

by weatheredlaw

Crowley laughed. “I thought you’d have realized by now. I am no ordinary king.”“No,” Aziraphale said. “You certainly are not.” or: aziraphale is sent as a gift to the southern king to smooth over trade negotiations. they both find themselves in over their heads.

by Ghostinthehouse

"I've wanted to work with computers since I was a kid, but computers just - go wrong - when I do anything with them. This job's fun, and I can do it, but it isn't what I love." Newton gazed mournfully into his empty glass."Know the feeling," Crowley said. Oneshot

by Vagabond

Anthony Crowley has avoided courtship like the devil, refusing to give into high society's idea that an Omega needs to be married by a certain age until his parents decide to remove his choice. He soon finds himself married off to a gentle, soft-spoken Alpha. Lessons and love ensue and Crowley reali

by Ghostinthehouse

"How do you manage to get students to wind rumours around you every single year?" Anathema asked, glancing back at Crowley as she reached for the cafe door.

by ChristopherTuring

Crowley thinks about lying alone and in pain on a hospital bed when he was 5. He thinks about all those tearful prayers asking for an angel to help him, guide him, take care of him, protect him, and love him. He thinks about every single heartbreak and trauma he had endured for the past decade and a

by Ghostinthehouse

Newt's amiable face hardened around the eyes as Crowley and Aziraphale filled him and Anathema in on what was happening. "I wonder what kind of phone Gabriel uses," he mused. "I bet he'd let me hold it, if I just..."

by Jenanigans1207

Aziraphale watches as Crowley’s smile grows, sharpens and turns distinctively dastardly. And even though Aziraphale knows what he’s in store for, he’s entirely unprepared for the words that slip out of Crowley’s mouth next. “Name’s Anthony Crowley, Aziraphale’s husband.”Aziraphale is eternally grate